Archive for February, 2012

I turned vegetarian tonight

Monday, February 27th, 2012

This was supposed to be my photo of the day:

Flowers blooming in FEBRUARY! Looking a little sad after the cold weather assault earlier this week.

But alas, Paul has trumped me again. Paul took Maggie out for a walk and I settled in for my 13 1/2 minutes of alone time. Until Paul rang the doorbell and knocked. You can imagine how pissed off I was to have to get off the couch to answer the door. Then he tells me my cherub, sweet cat was decimating a rabbit in the front yard. I was convinced he was lying to get me out of the house.

Nope.

Yep, its Barton snacking on the Easter bunny. No peeps for us this year.

Week of Feb 12th

Sunday, February 26th, 2012

p52: Cabin Fever

Sunday, February 26th, 2012

What a crazy week of weather! Sunday afternoon when I picked up Tyler from the birthday party it was snowing HARD. Monday the kids had a snow day (photos in another post), but then by noon that day, I wore shorts to run at lunch time. Wednesday and Thursday it was 70, then 75 degrees. Friday morning it was 65 degrees when I left the house at 6:30am. A terrific thunderstorm came through Friday afternoon bringing thunderstorms and a 40 degree drop in temperature! Overnight it was in the mid-20′s driving us inside.

Yes, 1 morning is enough to give this family cabin fever! I practiced with the PACE Masters Swim Team Saturday morning and when I got home, Paul announced we were going to take the kids to the pool. He had that tone that this was not negotiable, no nap would come first for me, we were going NOW for his sanity and everyone’s safety.

It worked!

A cure for cabin fever

Wicked Witch of the South

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

All y’all are gunna need to g’won and take a sit for this’un.

Translation: Sit down, people.

Not everyone in the South is nice. In fact I met the Wicked Witch of the South last week. She works at Harris Teeter on Eastchester in High Point bless her heart.

Bless her PEA PICKIN’ HEART [is that correct usage, Steph?]

Translation: I wanted to punch her in the throat.

As you know, Anna decided she was going to attend the Father-Daughter dance at school [sorry, my keyboard won’t type DADDY-daughter. Blech. More on that in another post]. She notified Paul of this on Wednesday before the dance. Well, she knew before that, but Paul finally acknowledged his defeat and lack of a way out of this tween spectacle.

Anna would be leaving from her mom’s house so I was not going to have much say in her look (or so I thought—more on that in another post. Man, I have a lot to say), but I really wanted to participate somehow. So I decided to order a corsage for Anna. Well, I call it a corsage, not sure what You People call it. I have heard it referred to quite a bit as a “wristlet.” Really? That sounds more like a little piece of bone that you nibble on during cocktail hour. After some research (i.e. texting my uber-aware friend Ruthan) I went to the local grocery store on Thursday during lunch to order the corsage/niblett wristlet.

So I walk in and wander to the fragrant section of produce. A high school aged boy was leaning over the counter unpacking boxes. He was straight as they come so I knew there was no way he would be able to help me with my riblet wristlet. Luckily right at that moment it clouded over and a freezing blast of air ripped through the flower corner. Homeboy straightened right up and told me Brunehilda would be able to help me, she was the Head Florist (which I think it Southern for Only Mean Florist in Nawth Ca’lina).

I assumed my demur posture, tucking my tail between my legs and avoiding eye contact and inquired, “what kind of lead time do you require for a corsage?”

“When do you need it?” she countered. I could see the sun glinting off her canine teeth. My knees started shaking.

“Tomorrow?” I apologized. Homeboy cringed, knowing it was about to get colder up in there.

“……………..S I G H…………..,” as the Wicked Witch of the Rose reached into her pocket. My heart was hammering out of my chest. I was about to die right there in the middle of smelly flowers. Would I be able to get the flowers I bled on to travel with me to the funeral home? Was this one stop shopping for the funeral home? Wait, what in the world? She was going to kill me with a pen? Beat me with a notepad?

She was going to take my order! Little did I know it was only about to get worse. I could not have disappointed This Woman more.

What flowers did I want

Um, live ones?

What color flowers did I want?

What do you have?

What color is her dress?

No idea. I’m the…wait for it…. wait for it….step mom.

This seemed to connect with her on a visceral level. Like she was identifying with me: evil to evil.

What is your name?

Finally! Something I can answer! I gave her the information and then remembered Anna loves
purple. So I told Her, “She likes purple.”

Remember that part of the movie “Dirty Dancing” when Jennifer Grey’s character Baby goes to the party
with the cool kids and says, “I carried a watermelon.” Yep, that’s what I did with the purple comment.

“She likes purple.”

Awkward silence… Crickets chirping in the background…. “See you and your $20 tomorrow at 5pm.”

Bless her pea picking heart, indeed.

Bitch.

p52 project: Love!

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

With Valentine’s Day being last week, of course the theme was true love. I love Paul, photography, and swimming so this picture includes all three!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of February 5th

Friday, February 17th, 2012

Dinosaurs, mice and back splash…OH MY!

Weekly photo-a-day page

Monday, February 13th, 2012

I don’t really have much of an intro to this week’s page. I took some better photos, but really only b/c of using the kick ass camera instead of my cell phone. I guess a photo is worth a 1,000 words. I know you don’t really log on to read my blathering anyway, but to see the pictures of the kids.

January 30 through Feb 4

Father-daughter dance

Sunday, February 12th, 2012

Paul and Anna just left for the Father-Daughter dance at school. I don’t remember this happening when I was in school so maybe its a Southern thang. You know how Paul loves to dance and all. Good thing he’d do anything for his lil’ girl.  Yep…he’s that good. I have all kinds of things to write about it, but nothing got typed in the last 4 hours so you will have to just check out the picture instead.

I almost died today

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

I love Tuesdays. It hasn’t always been like this. Tuesday was my Monday–you know how most people mope around work all day. When you ask them how they are they say, “OK…for a Monday.” Not me, Mondays are fabulous–I just had the weekend as a buffer. I’m fine! Tuesday, however…BLECH. The weekend has worn off and I still have 4…more…days…

But not anymore! Now I work at home every Tuesday. Any day I can work in sweatpants is a super day! Until that peace is shattered by an intruder.

NIMBY indeed! How about Not Under My Entertainment Center! My backyard is where he SHOULD be!

I was getting ready for my conference call and saw a scurrying across the fire place…to the speaker…then under the entertainment center. I thought about putting out poison, but even I know that isn’t good parenting. Not to mention dangerous for the pets. I can’t stand the thought of traps. Besides I don’t know if we have any, and I was not going to leave the intruder lurking in my home while I went to the store. What if it went and shat on my pillow? Or my TOOTHBRUSH!? I knew I was on my own.

Luckily I had the Red Hot Chili Peppers to back me up. I trapped the mouse in a large Tupperware bowl and slammed the Chili Pepper’s “By the Way” album on top. Stuart Little freaked out and scrambled to get up the curve of the plastic bowl while I tried to unlock the front door while keeping the album on top. My heart felt like it would hammer out of my chest. Once I got outside I flung Stuart across the front yard and ran back inside as fast as I could with Maggie on my heels.

Don’t we have cats, you ask? Aren’t cats supposed to hunt mice, you ask? HELL YEAH! Let’s take a look back and see exactly what the cats were doing when the proverbial call was coming from inside the house…

Sleeping beauty Barton. Glad HE is relaxing and dreaming.

 

Snoozy Bluesy sleep on the job.

I sent Paul the intruder’s mug shot and emailed him that we will no longer be feeding our lazy ass cats. Perhaps if they had to WORK for the food by HUNTING we won’t be assaulted by Mickey and his mouse club anymore. Until then, Paul and I are planning to use our fat bonuses on mouse traps and cheese.

Weekly page/daily photo

Monday, February 6th, 2012

January 23rd to January 29th