Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Arriving home after a long day at the office…

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

Yep, after a long day of hustle and flow of the grueling working world, all I want to do is come home to peace, tranquility, and the schedule being executed by MY expectations (ALWAYS BUSINESS BEFORE FUN DAMMIT!!!!!). However the kids got some really sweet gifts for Christmas that they wanted to play with…

The artist at work

So instead of the fantasy world I live in where the kids are diligently working on their homework, Paul is making a delicious calorie-free dinner made entirely of cheese and garlic, the pets are all napping cuddled together on the couch while classical music plays on the stereo (you know–to build up the brain power during homework), and an ice cold Landshark beer (or glass of red wine–depending on the time of year) is waiting for me, I came into the Red Hot Chili Peppers on iTunes, cats fighting in the hallway, dogs drooling on the new couch, and….well…. this:

The scene at my kitchen table when I arrived home from work.

Tyler had been asking to make and launch (? is that was you do to a volcano?) the volcano that Elli, Michael, and Sydney gave him. So that project started while Anna channeled her inner Gerogia O’Keefe by painting with her new easel and supplies. She is SO gifted in her artwork.

Another angle

It’s in the genes

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

One of the fun things about my new job is that we can wear jeans on Fridays. I have never worked for a company that allowed that before! So as my first jeans-capable Friday approached nerdily I began planning my first outfit.

But then I got nervous: What if no one else wore jeans, and I looked like a slacker? What if my jeans were too tight, and I looked like a huss bag? What if I dressed too nicely and everyone thought I was a prissy-pants? What is a girl to do?? CALL ELLI! I ran my plan by The Tower: wear my white jeans w the blue denim shirt/jacket things from Coldwater Creek. Kind of embracing jeans, but safely. Or so I thought. My clothes coach was horrified! NO WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY IN THE SOUTH!? I thought that was no longer a rule, but apparently, that memo did not make it past the Mason Dixon Line either (along w the fact that the War is over).

I started getting dressed that morning in my compromise outfit: khakis and my CC shirt. Now it was Paul’s turn to be horrified. YOU CAN WEAR JEANS ON A FRIDAY AND YOU AREN’T!? I told him what Elli had said. He declared that Elli was getting her information from Steel Magnolias and I needed to put jeans on. Then it occurred to me that I probably should not take fashion advice from a man who has a 5-polo shirt rotation for his work clothing and wore shorts to his own wedding. I stuck to my guns–or khaki’s rather.

But this is another issue where the North and South diverge: Is it appropriate to wear white after Labor Day?

Is it appropriate to wear white after Labor Day?

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Next up: “Are my jeans too tight?” Learn what the three questions you need to ask before heading out the door and vote for whether I should wear them to work or not!

I have the BEST husband in the world!

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

Imagine a stressful work week at a job where you are not really happy. Then your ding dong wife has a month of vacation and gets to do NOTHING?! Talk about potential to be crabby. Now add this unemployed wifey wanting you to do home improvement projects at night when you come home. After you cook you and her dinner. Double crabby potential. Multiply that by 4 days and it is Thursday night. If you are Paul, Super Husband, here is what you do:

Laundry Room "renovation." We had one shelf that had all that stuff on it. Paul moved the shelf up, then added the 2nd one. DOUBLING our storage space--WHOOOO HOOOOOO!!!

Not to mention he is funny and super-cute:

Paul wears his goggles instead of sunglasses on our way back from an open water swim practice.

I am the other woman!

Friday, September 10th, 2010

It’s weird how quickly you can go from “inside” to “outside” in a relationship. Kind of like high school clicks I guess.  Sort of goes along the lines of “2′s company, 3′s a crowd” kind of thing. Here is what happened:

Today Paul and I took the kids to Subway for dinner, then we decided to try to do our part to stimulate the economy by buying ice cream at the new Summerfield Creamery. We were getting back in the car and I noticed today is September 10 [you don't pay much attention to the date when you are not working]. I said to Paul, “10 days until our anniversary!!” Paul confirmed with a, “Yep!” [you know he is a man of few words]. I had a few beats of silence to contemplate the past 2 years of marriage–wow, TWO YEARS!! Good for me! Good for us! Good stuff, we can do anything as long as we have each other!”

Then from the back seat, Anna pipes up, “What are we doing for your anniversary!?” Isn’t perspective funny?! I had not even considered this would be on their radar! What is even funnier is that Paul and Tyler will be at Tyler’s soccer practice, and Anna and I will be going to her school for a Parent Night thing.

Cheers!

Dear Mr. Body Snatcher Alien Man…

Monday, September 6th, 2010

…do I need to be worried about the alien you have left in Paul’s place?

Not sure when you snatched Paul and left the substitute, but I just realized it last night when he took a side trip insisting on shopping for shoes in two different stores. I thought that was bad enough, but then we got home and he started reading. That is not the surprise, but when he was still reading 3 hours later…WHOA.

THAT is how I knew he was a droid of some sort. But will he still cook for me?

Hmmmmm—he did suggest going out for dinner last night, that was weird.

Uh oh….he also didn’t clean all morning yesterday while I was at triathlon practice!!!!!

BRING BACK MY HUSBAND RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Way to go, Sue!

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

I survived my first morning getting the kids on the bus alone. Paul had a conference call for work early for a project he has been asked to take the lead on so it was up to me. Everyone got on the bus just fine after newly pierced ears (Anna) were cleaned, pink eye (Tyler) was treated, and cold symptoms were Alka-selzered (Susan; Paul did his own before he left).

We made several life decisions:

  • Tyler plans to live in Alaska so he can hunt polar bears and ride a snow mobile.
  • Anna will live in Boone after she graduates from Carolina.
  • Tyler asked me to drive him to Alaska when he moves there…since he doesn’t know where it is.
    • Caveat–he also requests that I drive him back each week after he grocery shops w Anna in the mountains

We will see how these plans hold up. Last night Anna got shampoo in her eye and said she would never shower again.

A Typical Day With Kids

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

This cartoon describes a typical day with kids.

calvin