Paul ordered a pair of shorts online and was super excited when one of the choices was, “Carolina Blue.” And by excited I mean he did a victory dance around the house shouting about how no one has “Indiana Red” on the list of choices in a catalog. Then the shorts arrived. I loved it. Nobody gives a crap about Carolina and its stupid blue.
Posts Tagged ‘Humor’
The woman doth protest much! I do think I am a good driver, I just think its a lot to pay attention to – like directions. I don’t really internalize the concepts of how it all works, not to mention the surroundings. So Paul would generally check in with me around the time I was leaving work to make sure he knew when to have dinner ready and all.
Then he found an app that let’s him see where I am. Well, it let’s him see where my phone is. I usually have it with me, but there have been a couple times I left it at home accidentally. This way we don’t have to have the same dumb conversation daily:
Paul: Where are you?
Me: In the car, I just left work.
Paul: What time do you think you’ll be home?
Me: 35 minutes…same amount of time it always takes. [Did I mention that I hate talking on the phone? Paul is not the chatty type either. We always joke that if it were not for text messaging we probably would not have gotten married. We really don't talk on the phone much at all.]
I would always be mad because I felt like he was checking up on me. In reality he was trying to figure out when to start dinner. Or gauging whether or not I had a crappy day and would want to meet somewhere to go out to eat.
Now, all he has to do is check “Find Friends” and he can see where I am. I don’t have to answer the same question every day, and Paul doesn’t have to ask it. Well, last week this is what he saw:
This is what Paul saw and then he sent me an email:
Will you get back on the road?
My sister sent this to me the other day and I laughed so hard I think I wet my pants. Here is some background information:
Avery’s birthday is December 9, Elli’s birthday is May 2. Sydney is the cutest thing EVER. Here is the story:
We were talking about the order of birthdays. Sydney said Avery’s birthday is next and mine is after Avery’s. I said mine was the next one after Avery’s. Then I said really, Baby Jesus’ birthday is after Avery’s. Sydney said “Baby Cheez It?
There is a volunteer organization in the building where I work and they bring vendors in to sell stuff in the cafe and portions of proceeds go to various charities. This one popped up in email recently:
How great is that–Alpaca scrub! To be Alpaca clean! I want to be as clean as a barnyard animal!!
It is SO nice when companies give you tips about storage. Take this bin for example. It is quite nice of them to tell us babies will NOT fit in this size bin. That way you can make sure you have the right size before you poke holes in it! You know they don’t let you return a bin once holes are poked in it.
As of Labor Day I was 12 weeks behind on my Photo of the Day pages. I had pictures for most of the days, but no pages. Paul suggested I change it to a Photo of the Quarter project. I got caught up, but cannot post them here. Too much. I am learning to say no. Starting with you, Dear Reader.
You aren’t mad at me are you?
I made a lemonade cake that I found on Pinterest. Yes, I made a cake. While I made said cake, I was also doing laundry and running the dishwasher. Yes, I am a domestic diva. During said domestic bliss, I went out and saved Paul from the yellow jacket nest in the yard so he would not die. Yep, I am that good. Quite a catch.
Then I went to a planning meeting for the next race to cure cancer and came home to frost my fabulous Pinterest cake. That is where the crazy train started going off the rails. Here is the picture from Pinterest to see what it SHOULD be:
This is what mine looked like:
Paul is so sweet though. He said it tasted really good–so good it didn’t matter what it looked like.
All marketers must be men.
As you know, I cannot stand bathroom-related anything. Farting falls in this category. Because of this, the kids collapse into fits of giggles whenever anyone breaks wind (which for Anna is unnaturally often if you ask me). They, of course, love to poot on purpose too. I am surprised no one has soiled themselves making said attempts.
So one day we were driving home in the car and the kids were passing time by passing gas (when I was that age we read books in the car—who knew we only needed our butts) and laughing hysterically. They were slap happy crazy. You know that silliness that only happens at the bewitching hour when we should have been home 10 minutes ago, but are not so they lose their shit?
I was about to lose mine, which always makes Paul giggle. If you are keeping score at home this means that the entire car was cracking up at things that make me want to put on my sound cancelling headphones and pull the covers over my head. Then, in classic you-cannot-teach-this-comedic-timing, Anna decides it’s a good time to point out (incredulously, I might add. Perhaps she secretly though I’d gone deaf):
SUSAN, THE WHOLE CAR IS LAUGHING BUT YOU!
Ahhhh, from the mouth of babes. Needless to say, that did not help lube my funny bone.