This is why The South will NOT rise again.

Look very carefully at this photo–looks like a pretty sweet salad bar, right? I do love me a salad bar. Now look to the far side of this delightful buffet. Yes, that’s right.

LOOK AT THE MAN WITH NO SHIRT ON.

How does it seem ok to let your belly hairs graze my croutons inches away when they have plexiglass blocking your breath 2 feet away from the romaine? Not to mention it was 1000000 degrees so sweat was probably rolling off the dude into the Italian dressing. or deoderant dropping off his armpit hair into the cauliflour. I expressed my outrage to Paul and his sister. I probably even pointed my Yankee finger at the topless salad-eer. All I got was a shrug from Paul, laughter from Elizabeth and from each of them came:

“Yep, welcome to Myrtle Beach.”

Of the three books described in the opening of this Bookworm! series, this is the book that probably made you raise your eyebrows. Or as the author would describe it: cock your head to the side and perk up your ears in question. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein is again a book I had in my hands, put down, and it appeared at Ruthan’s house. I borrowed it Wednesday after running 6 miles before work (i.e. REALLY tired that night so not lots of time to read) and finished crying in the Subway sandwich shop over my flatbread egg white sammich. I was reading it Wednesday night before meeting my winter Team in Training teammates to work on our fundraising. Turns out one girl is readying it for her book club this month and my friend Lauren has been reading it too! If you have (or have ever in your life had) a dog, you need to read this book. It is hilarious in points (monkey’s are inferior to dogs and Enzo, the dog, is indignant that the monkeys have opposable thumbs when he doesn’t); it is heart breaking in others (did you read about me crying in Subway?). No matter what you will not be wasting your time with this book. If you are a deep thinker (i.e. I am too good to read a book written from a dog’s perspective), be heartened—there were many parts that as I read them, I knew they held a deeper, more mystical message. I didn’t slow down to pick up those messages, I liked the part where Enzo was talking best. Makes me want to be a better Master to Maggie. (sorry Barton)

Oh, Kelly C—thanks for letting Ruthan borrow your book out to me. I took good care of it, didn’t drop it in the toilet or tub!

The next choice was UBER exciting b/c it was the first book I read on my NEW IPAD (yes, you have to scream it every time you type “NEW IPAD” for the first year—it’s in the EULA contract). This was a big leap for me—I love the feel of books (hardback and paperback), I love the smell of books (I don’t care if someone told me that smell is actually the pages decaying, I want a perfume that smells like it—better yet a cologne that smells like it that Paul can wear). I also love looking at the cover—why did the author choose that cover? That typesetting? Do they like the cover? What were they thinking when they had that PR headshot taken? I also love carrying a book around—makes me feel pretentious, “What? You don’t read World War II historical memoirs over your Panini at lunch? Loser…”

But I also love technology and my husband, and quite frankly, Paul was sick of lugging around my “do box” of books and magazines every time we took a car trip. This way I can store it all on my NEW IPAD and that fits into my purse! My sister has a Kindle and she loves it so I took the leap with a book that has been on my To Read list for over a year or so: Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand.

This is the story of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic distance runner who ended up a Pacific POW. Sounds really uplifting, right—you know how difficult running is for my and the Pacific POW camps make Gitmo sound like a resort. In a Pacific POW camp, they were probably begging to “only” be water boarded. I admit, I have always been fascinated by concentration camp stories. In 8^th grade I entered a public speaking contest with a speech about concentration camps. I think the subtitle of Unbroken really sums it up well for me though: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption. I LOVE a good survival story. I LOVE the word RESILIENCE. Not in a Bear Gryllis sort of survival, but when your mental and emotional mettle is tested. What would I do in that situation? I like to think I am a pretty strong chick (beyond bench press), but could I withstand the boredom, physical exertion and starvation (not to mention the torture, of course). And if I could, would I be able to withstand the survivorship? Spoiler Alert: Louis does magnificently and is a new inspiration for me (not necessarily in timing a mile, but in overcoming obstacles).

The only word of caution I have about this book is not to read it when you are backpacking with children. Especially those that tend to be more dramatic than others. You will have no sympathy for a kid whining about walking uphill after you hear of someone’s fingernails being ripped out. No tears are shed for children who dropped s’mores chocolate once you read of a POW who was forced to lick feces from the commander’s boot or be kicked in the face repeatedly. A dramatized headache brings eye rolls when they are not brought on by a beating session where 200+ strikes in one’s face by other men’s fists, clubs, boots, and branches. Its hard to remember to live in the now when reading a book so mesmerizing. Paul plans to read it if I ever give him enough time on my NEW IPAD.

Standby for Part 3!

Subway sandwich picnic on Easter afternoon hike

Barton and Maggie like to help make sammiches too.

Not sure why Paul didn’t take Maggie, Katie, Jake and Sam all to work with him, but now that Maggie is our #1 canine, she gets special treats. Like “Take your pet to work day.” Not sure why he is not claiming Bluesy and Barton right now…

I AM AT WORK W MY PERSON YES I AM THE FAVORITE PET DID I TELL YOU I AM WITH MY PERSON AT HIS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

Paul walks during lunch so of course, Maggie tagged along (WHATEVER MY PERSON IS DOING!!!!) and loved it.

Supervising my Person is soooooooooooo tiring...

INTP seeks mate not too annoyingly E. Me? I tend to be difficult to get to know well, and hold back parts of myself until you have proven yourself “worthy” of hearing my INTP thoughts. Past times: being suspicious and distrusting of others.  Turn offs: being in tune with others’ feelings, needing to respond to emotional needs, expressing feelings and emotions. Strengths: Tend to stay in bad relationships, tend to “blow off” conflict situations by ignoring them, or else they “blow up” in heated anger. Weaknesses: Not usually good at practical matters, such as money management, unless my work involves these concerns. Hit me up at mtnbiker@whatIwasntlisteningtoyou.com.

ISFJ needs to be needed. Will use my excellent organizational capabilities to put forth lots of effort to fulfill my duties and obligations as I am good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs. Some might say that I have difficulty branching out into new territory, but since I have an extreme dislike of conflict and criticism and am unlikely to express my needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside and I don’t pay enough attention to my own needs, I will have difficulty moving on after the end of our bad relationship. I have a huge 401k since I am usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money. I would love to do your laundry, let me know if you want me to call you by texting, “NOW” to 555-itsaboutyounotme.

In all seriousness, Paul has been researching our Myers-Briggs types, not sure why exactly. There is a statistic that says although ~70% of 2nd marriages end in divorce, of those that make it past the third anniversary have an 80% chance of success. Fifteen more days until there are four months til our third anniversary. You are ON NOTICE that if I go missing, I am behind the shed, downwind from Sam, 11 o’clock from Jake in the spring.

…if its not too much trouble, I mean…

And an abandoned sewer cat.

That was found chillin’ on a car tire. And we wanted to move the car. And he didn’t care.

Needless to say he fits in well with our family.

Very well.

Problem is, Bluesy likes to fight. Actually, the problem is not that he likes to fight, the problem is that he is a crappy fighter. And weighs 7 pounds. And he is dumb (see above, I don’t mean in a mute, can’t talk kind of way). And deaf in at least one ear–from a fight of course. Here are some of his current nemesises (nemeses? nemesisae? I mean nemesis plural):

• Maggie
• Paul’s flip flop (just the right one)
• Barton
• Ponytail holders
• Shelby (a neighbor dog who is one of Jake’s puppies, comes around often when we are outside)
• The school bus
• Wind

We have spent hundreds of dollars getting him patched up post-bout. Lately, I just patch him up with whatever is in the first aid cabinet. Note the gash on his “lip” in the photo above. You feel sorry for him. Until he jumps on your head in the middle of the night because your breathing is blowing your hair a little bit. And he considers the moving hair a new nemesis.

It happened again tonight at the grocery store. Comment (phonetically, of course) with how you would pronounce this word:

chitterling

But then I got nervous: What if no one else wore jeans, and I looked like a slacker? What if my jeans were too tight, and I looked like a huss bag? What if I dressed too nicely and everyone thought I was a prissy-pants? What is a girl to do?? CALL ELLI! I ran my plan by The Tower: wear my white jeans w the blue denim shirt/jacket things from Coldwater Creek. Kind of embracing jeans, but safely. Or so I thought. My clothes coach was horrified! NO WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY IN THE SOUTH!? I thought that was no longer a rule, but apparently, that memo did not make it past the Mason Dixon Line either (along w the fact that the War is over).

I started getting dressed that morning in my compromise outfit: khakis and my CC shirt. Now it was Paul’s turn to be horrified. YOU CAN WEAR JEANS ON A FRIDAY AND YOU AREN’T!? I told him what Elli had said. He declared that Elli was getting her information from Steel Magnolias and I needed to put jeans on. Then it occurred to me that I probably should not take fashion advice from a man who has a 5-polo shirt rotation for his work clothing and wore shorts to his own wedding. I stuck to my guns–or khaki’s rather.

But this is another issue where the North and South diverge: Is it appropriate to wear white after Labor Day?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Next up: “Are my jeans too tight?” Learn what the three questions you need to ask before heading out the door and vote for whether I should wear them to work or not!

We made several life decisions:

• Tyler plans to live in Alaska so he can hunt polar bears and ride a snow mobile.
• Anna will live in Boone after she graduates from Carolina.
• Tyler asked me to drive him to Alaska when he moves there…since he doesn’t know where it is.
  • Caveat–he also requests that I drive him back each week after he grocery shops w Anna in the mountains

We will see how these plans hold up. Last night Anna got shampoo in her eye and said she would never shower again.

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