It turns out my grandmother-in-law did not shank my tire. Honest mistake that anyone could make really. So how did that shiv get in my tread? We have a real mystery on our hands. AAA Gary thought he was so smart suggesting I should have SEEN IT IN THE ROAD.
AS IF!
I told him I had WAY too many things to look at while I was driving. My personal cell (including email, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest), my Blackberry (instant messages, emails, calendar entries), my iPod (podcast during morning show radio commercials), makeup (don’t judge–we were running behind this morning!), swim bag (did I remember my goggles for swimming at lunch today?)… Plus I was thirsty and had to get my water bottle from the back seat!
I know. He didn’t think it was funny either. I told him my theory about MomMom, he still blamed me.
But I know better. My current suspect is Paul. He has had his eye on a new reciever for MONTHS now. I think he rigged up a system so that whenever I went to the ATM (I was leaving the bank drive-through when I was stabbed), the weapon would deploy. Just to punish me for withdrawing money.
The other theory I have with Paul as the prime suspect is that he thinks I am fat and knew when I got cash I was heading straight for the Pepsi machine. Its got to be him, look how shady he is:
The goatee TOTALLY shouts "I DID IT!"
